Somewhere the sun set and the normal lights went out,
leaving the emergency lights. Ynno continued to sit. Eventually
there was a quick rap on the outside door and someone tried the
handle. This was followed by a loud thud, another and then a
third. With a splintering sound the doorjamb gave way and the
door flew open precipitating Clare into the room. She ran up to
Ynno but checked short of him and timidly touched his hand.
"I came for you", she said simply. He looked blankly at her.
"Sarion told me what that man did. He lied. He said awful things.
They just aren't true. I _know_ you feel. You're a wonderful
person."
"Not good enough for her", he said listlessly.
"No it's not that. They said her body is mechanical, like
yours. Is that right?" Ynno shrugged. "She's probably afraid to
be loved. 'How could anyone love a machine?' she might think. Did
you ever think someone could love you?"
He wrinkled his forehead. "I. I don't know. I suppose I
didn't think so." She took his hands and put them on either side
of her face.
"You are a person. You can be loved. You have to show her
that she can be too."
"But it's too late. They're taking me away."
Clare shook her head and smiled. "I got here, Didn't I? My
autocart is hovering outside. The guards don't know anything. We
can just fly out of here."
He stood up quickly a smile spreading across his face. "Oh,
Clare! But they'll see the door. You know how they are about
damage to government property." She looked at the doorjamb but
waved it away. "You could get in trouble. Why are you helping
me?" he asked, concerned.
"I", she began. "I like you, Ynno. You're a very good
friend. I just want to see you happy." He smiled and held her
close. Then she took his hand and led him off.
* * *
The elevator stopped at Bethula's floor. They stepped out
and stood down the corridor and around a corner from her room.
"It's late", said Ynno. "Perhaps we should try tomorrow."
"It's not too late to be calling", replied Clare. "There may
be no tomorrow." She gripped his arm tightly. "I know what the
decision is. To risk all to gain all or lose all. I say go for
it."
He nodded, took a deep breath and walked up to the door. He
knocked and shortly Bethula answered. She looked surprised, then
annoyed. "I thought I made it perfectly clear..."
"Bethula", he interrupted. "I'm a machine too. The same
series." She looked shocked and he continued while she was
stunned. "I love you. More than anything. _I love you_."
She resumed her annoyed expression. "Look. I don't know
_where_ you found that out. I don't care what you're made of,even
if you're an avatar of god. Just stop bothering me and go away.
Very far away." She slammed the door in his face.
He made a half aborted attempt to stop her but just stood
there and sagged. After a minute Clare came for him and led him
quietly away.
* * *
They sat at the kitchen table in Clare's apartment. Ynno
stared into the depths of the cooling coffee as he swirled the
mug. "I'm lost now", he said. Clare sighed, watching him. "She
hates me. Not because I'm metal or whatever. She just doesn't
like me." He looked anxiously at her. "What did I do wrong?"
Clare shook her head, "Nothing. You did everything you could
do. It was just the way things were." She blew into her mug.
"Sometimes you see someone, and, like, you know you're going to
like this person. Sometimes you see someone you know you're going
to hate. Someone just had it in for you when the two of you met."
"Mr. Kelleu said that this happens every time the two
different models met."
"He lied. He was wrong about other things."
"Yes", said Ynno, "he was wrong. I do dream."
Clare looked up sadly. "What do you dream of?"
Ynno sighed. "I don't always remember. I used to dream of
floating in a white place somewhere." He took on a grimmer tone.
"I only dream of her face now." Clare looked down again. "'To
risk all to gain all or lose all'", quoted Ynno. "That's what you
said.
"Yes, I did." Clare straightened slightly and took a deep
breath. "Ynno", she said. He looked up at the tone in her voice
and met her eyes. "Ynno, I love you."
He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth but no sound
came out. Tears started from the corners of her eyes. He shut it
again. He reached across the table and held her hand. "I'm
sorry", he said, looking back into his cup. "I, I'm just burned
out."
She stroked his hand with her other hand. "I- I- I always
have", she managed to choke out before breaking down. Ynno stood
up and came around to her side of the table and held her gently.
"I understand now. To 'love from afar'. I never understood."
He rocked her gently and the sobs grew quieter and she hugged
back. He stopped the rocking. "I'm so sorry. I'm dead inside now.
I can't feel at all anymore." She looked pleadingly into his
eyes. "I just can't. It isn't there."
"Please", she asked. "Just tonight. Will you try?"
"You're a very good friend Clare", he said. "Better than I
ever knew."