Re: TML nightly: Msgs 7201-7214 V71#15 (fwd)

Andy Lilly [email removed] writes:

> I'd be interested in anyone else's views in this field (unless it's already
> been discussed prior to me joining TML, of course).

Okay, but remember, you asked.

First, I admire the character it took to make the apology, but, I think you
should have rembered the `First Rule of Holes' and `stopped digging'.

> with regard to the sexual side of the encounter
> the text I used was
> quite deliberately graphical

There was nothing `sexual' about the encounter you described.  It was violent,
not sexual.  This misperception of violence as `sex' is part of what leads
to that sort of behavior.

> Not only do
> some of my female players take full advantage of their sexuality in such

Again, they are not taking advantange of `sexuality'.  They are taking
`advantage' of others whose *violence* manifests itself in `sexual' activity.

> circumstances (in effect taking advantage of the weakness of men)

To suggest that a prediliction toward sexual violence (the `weakness' you
describe here) is a characteristic inherent in all men is insulting and
and sexist.

> addition their sense of revengeful satisfaction at the point where they get
> to counter-attack their aggressor is heightened by the slow build-up

More misanthropy and misogyny.  One violent act is `countered' by resorting
to the `satisfaction' of another violent act - all under the guise of `sexual'
activity.  To suggest that one can achieve `satisfaction' in the aftermath
of a violent, sexual assault through the commission of another violent act
is reprehensible and unconsidered.

> I have
> also found that release of violent emotions in the game can sometimes help
> people deal with real events,

And your professional psychological credentials that allow you to make any
sort of valid assessment in this matter are?

> I'm sorry if this carry-over from my own (adult) games
> offended anyone. If so, I suggest they disconnect their TV and keep to the
> children's shelf at the library. :)

I would prefer you choose to keep these views to yourself.  What you and a
group of friends prefer to do `in the privacy of your own home' is your
business.  What you do on a public forum like this becomes everyone's.  You
have the right to continue to express this sort of stuff but you will also
have to bear the responsibility of evoking this sort of response.

> I fully support women and their equal rights

The fact that you see this as only a `women's issue' suggests to me that
you still have some room for improvement in this realm of `enlightenment'
that you so nobly lay claim to.

> - my own wife has to put up with
> working in a particularly sexist group and therefore I know first-hand how
> hard it is for some women.

No, you have *second-hand* experience.  I encourage you to write an `encounter'
in which a man faces a similar manifestation of violence in sexual activity.
Please don't post it but if you write it honestly I feel you might benefit
from the exercise.

> I don't like
> to encourage needless aggression

In my opinion, you original post and this subsequent `rationalization' do
just this.

Finally, I'd like to apologize to the TML for this exchange.  I initially
expressed my concerns about Mr. Lilly's post in a private message to him.
He, regretably in my view, chose to respond on the TML.  I therefore felt
it necessary to respond in kind.

Let's all try to be a little more sensitive to others and get back to having
fun.

Peace,

David Johnson
Houston, Texas, USA